Things have been much better since my rant about nursing Charlie, and thanks to all of you for your kind, supportive words. They made me feel less alone.
Maybe the universe needed me to spew my frustrations before things could start clicking. Because since that post, there’s only been a handful of times that Charlie has lost his shit when I try to nurse him. Interestingly, this also coincided with him finding his own schedule. Developmental milestone?
My BFF Ashleigh also pointed me to a series of free breastfeeding videos from lactation consultant Shari Criso. The chapter on techniques made me realize my latch and positioning were terribly wrong. I wasn’t lining up his head correctly, I wasn’t supporting my breast well, I was using a pillow that was too soft – no wonder he was pissed all the time. With a few adjustments (and a more confident mama), Charlie started latching on and staying on. In fact, I nursed him twice at a housewarming party yesterday in front of dozens of people. WIN!!
Now that I’m back at work, I find that I enjoy the closeness of our nursing sessions. It has become a special time when we can reconnect. I miss him terribly during the day, and having him that close, inhaling his scent, centers me.
But let me say a few words about stupid bitches that can’t keep their mouths shut.
A few weeks back, I was attempting to nurse Charlie at my hair salon. I had my Bebe Au Lait cover, but it was clear to the other women sitting in the waiting area that Charlie was on the brink of a major meltdown.
Sensing their pressing stares, I mumbled, “Oh, um…sometimes he has trouble nursing.”
“Hmm….that’s odd,” pipes up Bitchy Woman.
“Yeah,” I said, following an awkward silence. “Sometimes he just won’t latch on, rejects the breast.”
Bitchy Woman, who apparently knows everything: “Did you give him a bottle at a really young age?”
“Oh,” she said, with pity. “That’s why.”