A Christmas Miracle

The most amazing thing happened last night.

Charlie nursed.

You may have read about our breastfeeding issues here, or here, or even listened to it here. About four months ago I decided to exclusively pump because I could no longer emotionally handle Charlie’s refusal to nurse (why are you rejecting meeeeee?).

Our stress level as a family went down considerably, and Charlie is still getting breastmilk (although pumping 5-6x a day SUCKS), but I still long for that closeness and bonding that other nursing mothers have with their babies.

Last night (well, technically this morning), Charlie woke up about 2:30, fussing. We’ve been trying to teach him to fall back to sleep on his own, but I could tell that he wasn’t getting there. Randomly, the thought “I should nurse him” popped in my head.

I scooped him up from his crib, settled us on the rocking chair in the nursery, and took a chance.

And it was wonderful!

The room was dark. He was warm. The sound of the falling rain echoed from the windows. Afterward, I held him to my chest. He put his head on my shoulder and fell asleep as I rocked us back and forth.

Please remember this moment.

Fast forward to a half-hour later when he woke up once again. I tried to nurse him from the other breast, but he thrashed and yelled and kicked and whined and cried.

Reality, resume.

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4 Responses to A Christmas Miracle

  1. Kirsten says:

    I’ve also noticed Keira is a lot more cooperative with nursing in the middle of the night. Maybe more interested in the cuddle than the food.

  2. Leyna says:

    I just got tears in my eyes reading this. How wonderful for the two of you!

  3. Barbara and Charles III says:

    When I think of the life this child will have with you, Jessica, for his mom and you, Charles, for his dad, wonderful chills track up and down me. Jessica, it’s your intensity for taking on whatever life brings that Charlie will grow up around. How great is that? Charles, your playfulness and tenderness, and your attention to this little guy, will become part of him forever. Your love is a force, balanced and gentle. Fortunate child. Fortunate grandparents, to have this new person in such hands as yours.

  4. Just me says:

    That made me choke up. I recall when my oldest started refusing the breast. How I would cry. We got a few times to nurse before my milk dried up.

    Congrats on pumping and giving your little man the best.

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